wash me down, clean

me off

        bind my bones into my skin

throw me to the sea

                            and watch me

   float away

food for the deep

and as the fish nibble

                        as my bones dissolve

into the briny stew

I will remember

         the beauty

the crystalline moments of frost sparkling

        in the sun

your laughter rising from your lungs

like steam

the fragile pockets of happiness

            swept up

      into the swirling currents of my life

I will remember

        welcoming death

 a solemn look of knowing

in her eyes

more terrible for the fact that I had

      seen it before

seen it

in the landscape of my childhood

in the shimmering golden

leaves

    the aspen maidens

gathered together like virgins

to witness, untouched,

                                                the passing of time

I have left you nothing

I know

but then what would I leave

           the likes of you

I can only say, well done

  my friend

 well lived

well loved

and so now I rest

in the only place I can rest

the murky black

the mysterious deep

      the salty womb

    returned to the bitterness that once

ran through my veins